My Mother was a troubled soul, my father a gambler - that meant a lot of fights and a lot of shouting

My parents hired an Irish Au Pair called Niamh - she loved me and I loved her.

My parents got divorced. I was heart-broken - “You will never see your father again.” I can see his face through the car window, trying to get to me as our car drove away from the court.

My Mother married the lodger - he was a friend of my Father’s and moved into the top floor spare room, but then he moved out with my Mum.

‘You have to call this man Daddy now.’ Except he wasn’t my Dad.

I went to a very rough comprehensive school. I didn’t fit in, I was different, I wanted to try and
do well, but that wasn’t ‘cool’.

My brother was born - a little nightmare, always has been and always will be - but totally adorable!

‘Impish humour and diffident charm’, was how I was described.

My school reports were always the same, ‘If only she applied herself…..’

We moved from London to Harrogate for my step-father’s work and I went to a new school, an all girls private school, a posh one. But I wasn’t very posh and I much preferred mixing with boys, so it was quite tricky to fit in.

And another sister joined the family!

In a moment of anger, my Mother had said, ‘Why don’t you just go and live with your Father then?’ And so I did, I boarded the train to London and never looked back. The conductor threw me off at Doncaster because I didn’t have a ticket, but I jumped on the next train and avoided the police searching my original train on the neighbouring platform.

I was returned to Yorkshire to continue my schooling - but this time as a boarder. It was quite lonely.

As it turns out, my Physics teacher and my Chemistry teacher were my saviours. They saw that I had academic aptitude and they nurtured it out of me. They taught me how to learn and how to succeed and tried to teach me how to memorise. Working stuff out came easily to me but learning off by heart was a nightmare. My Dad couldn’t pay the school fees, but school kept me on anyway, I think they saw something in me.

I was made Head Girl - the school governors were very disapproving, I wasn’t usual Head Girl material, but the new HeadMistress took a shine to me. We worked together on school policy and how best to help the girls learn. I loved it! She asked me if I wanted to be a doctor, so I said OK.

I applied to five Medical Schools and got five rejections. Doctors don’t usually come from backgrounds like mine. So I cried and pleaded and Birmngham let me in. Thank you Birmingham!

I love love loved University - we had a whale of a time. We played so hard, and I also learned how to be a doctor.

The HIV epidemic shaped my medical learning. I saw how the men were shunned, ridiculed, hated and abused. I hated it, they were terrified, they were dying and the care they were getting was tainted by fear, discrimination and prejudice. It was said that God was punishing gay men, drug abusers and prostitutes, and the medical profession seemed to agree.

My ability to memorise let me down again. I so nearly failed the end of year exams that needed a photographic memory. Anatomy - arrgggh.

My grandma died. I was really sad. She was very religious and very loving and a stable influence in my life. She was the first person I did CPR on. It didn’t work, I couldn’t save her, but at least I tried.

I graduated as a doctor of medicine. I was so chuffed! An amazing achievement. I started work in my first doctor job in August 1992 and also met my husband to be. Love across the diabetes ward.

I met my future step-children. Two boys who have become so much a part of my life.

I started my first GP job, in Pershore, Worcestershire. My own patient group, helping people get the most out of their health. I loved that job.

I worked half the time as a Sexual Health doctor and loved every minute. We took the back-street GUM clinics and abortion clinics out of hiding and welcomed them into the sexual health service. No more shame or having to hide away. Be proud to be tested.

I worked hard and played hard - life before children.

I qualified as a psychosexual counsellor, helping people to discover why their body just didn’t respond in the way they wanted it to. Fascinating work.

I got married - cried all the way down to the altar but it was a truly happy day.

My first son came screamingly early into the world, he was a true challenge - still is! I am so immensely proud of him.

Motherhood was a change from doctoring. Different, beautiful, rewarding.

My second son arrived, how can two children from the same parents be so different?

My Father married our old Au Pair - but I was used to that kind of thing!

A daughter!

I went to work in the Communications Skills Department at Birmingham University. Teaching doctors to try and help their patients understand what they were saying, to show some empathy when the news was not so good, to show humility when things went wrong, to not look shocked when they told you something shocking. Amazing job, I loved it!

We moved to Wales. It was a big upheaval and a big change, but a good one.

My Mother died of alcoholic gastric varices, there was a lot of blood.

We spent a lot of time in West Wales. Beautiful beaches, caravan life, children growing up in
the sand dunes. Perfect.

NHS GP work - I loved the patients, I hated the bureaucracy.

I loved being a doctor but the NHS is a very slow moving beast. Implementing change or innovating takes years and years. I was getting frustrated.

Mixing parenting with doctoring, two rewarding, hard, happy roles.

I joined a GP Partnership in Blaina, in the Welsh Valleys, a really deprived area. As many as one in six are taking antidepressants’ the papers said, and they were right.

Life in a very deprived area is tough. I seemed to spend my working days prescribing sleeping tablets, prescription painkillers and antidepressants, and issuing sick notes.

My first GMC investigation. One of my young patients died of alcohol-related problems and her brother complained to the GMC. The expert found my practice to be ‘below the expected standard’ but changed his mind when he actually read the records. In truth I couldn’t have done any more for her, I had tried so hard. I learned then that the GMC was not an easy organisation to explain life as a doctor to, but the investigation went no further.

I just kept thinking that we needed to digitise medicine. Everything was being done online - banking, shopping, reading, movie-watching, yet medicine seemed so far behind. Time to start innovating.

I set about recreating General Practice online and created my first website, MyWebDoctor. It didn’t change the GP world, except one page I made, inspired by me learning how to care for my first trans patient as a GP, really took off and GenderGP was born.

As well as my full-time GP role, I read and learned and explored and researched transgender medicine and shared all my learnings on my GenderGP website. I was shocked, horrified, fascinated at what I was learning and I made it my mission to make things better. I treated a 12 year old with gender-affirming hormones, I knew it would save his life, and I knew it would get me in trouble. The patient that changed my life.

CQC HIW ABUHB GMC NHS - April 24th 2017 - they all came down on me with their ten tonne hammers. I was accused, investigated, PACE interviewed, suspended, stopped from working, battered by the press. I don’t know how I survived that year - it was horrific. I just wanted to have a fair hearing and I never got one. Nobody would listen to the truth, they already knew the lies were what they wanted to hear. I cried a lot that year.

I was initially suspended from being a GP and then nationally disqualified by the Fifth Tier Tribunal. When I walked into that court, I knew I had already lost, giving a 12 year old ‘girl’ testosterone - no no. I was ‘temporarily’ suspended by the GMC preventing me from working in any capacity in my profession. Nobody would listen to me.

Healthcare Inspectorate Wales had told me I should register with them and allowed me to carry on, pending registration. Then they heard about the GMC & CQC & ABUHB and the actions against me in the preceding two years, my registration application was declined and instead they convicted me for carrying on an unregistered service. Just so so unfair.

I went into hiding, first under my duvet and then from life in total. I withdrew from my professional life and simply spoke up when I could not bear the targeting of trans people any longer.

The year of my MPTS Tribunal - 57 very very long days of a hearing. I kept my head, spoke the truth and was acknowledged for my attitude, experience, skills and knowledge. At last they listened, they listened carefully and truly heard what I had to say. Thank you.

The final outcome of my GMC investigation and Tribunal - a heavy curveball where I was suspended for three months for ‘failing Patient C’. I was to return after three months to show them that I would not fail a patient in the same way again. Except I knew I hadn’t failed Patient C, so I was stuck. I took it to the High Court for them to review.

Transgender Day of Visibility, March 2023 - The High Court judge agreed with me! I had not failed Patient C and I should not be exposed to any more GMC investigation or tribunals on the matter. I knew this was a really important outcome. If I, ‘just a GP’, could help trans people of all ages to get the hormone profile that suited them, then so could any other doctor. A remarkable, but deserved, win!

We are only half way through - will update when it is complete!